sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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