White coat. Heels.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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