Say something about gay babies.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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