he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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