how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The adults are the big ones right?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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