your parents love me but you hate me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
