Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
