He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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