i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
