I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
