Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
