Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
