Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize