I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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