I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
