You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
