he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
