so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
