All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
