Don't you send me to vm
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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