friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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