I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
