My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize