so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
