I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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