I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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