That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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