Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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