What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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