Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize