i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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