THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
