Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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