he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
