forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
