my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Semen is not good for contacts.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
