Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
is it fun? or sober?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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