hotel room ftw
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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