So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
