i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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