Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize