I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
