I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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