his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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