Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
