i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
