All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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