my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
