I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
