trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
and she was petting her beer can
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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