Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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