Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
