first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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