Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
