I have demons in me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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