don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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