and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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