Yo dont text me then not text me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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