normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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